He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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