physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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