hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
