he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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