How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
