exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
