how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
