it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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