im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
