my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
