hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
