so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
