I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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