He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
