His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
