after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
