It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
