I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
