now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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