The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Randomize
