a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
