your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
