I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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