you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
