I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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