There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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