Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
