Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
