? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
