well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
