Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
