question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Panties = found
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