there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
