I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
