I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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