I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We left the knife in your bed.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
