I puked a lego.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
