we have officially lost it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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