I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
