she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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