I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think people are normalizing furries
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
