i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
