Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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