How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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