My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
