so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
