"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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