Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
