Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
