What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
