just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
