Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
