absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
